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The Power of Quiet Leadership: A Conversation with Srividya


Harinath

Strategy & Growth – Reliance Retail; EI Outlook Editor


Srividya Vaidison,

Introduction


In the philosophy world, there is a story about the students of Confucius. It is said that when they walked through crowded streets, people could recognize them instantly — even before they spoke.

Not because they were famous, but because of the way they carried themselves: calm, composed, and quietly confident.


Whenever I see Srividya in our society, I am reminded of that idea. She is someone who shines differently. She speaks little, yet her presence is unmistakable.


Over the years, our interactions have mostly been practical. I would approach her with requests — support for library initiatives, or advice on how to navigate society processes. She has always responded thoughtfully and helped where she could.


But one evening, I wanted to turn the conversation in a different direction. Instead of asking for help, I wanted to understand the person behind that quiet leadership — her upbringing, her influences, and the experiences that shaped her.


This conversation is an attempt to explore that journey.

1. Childhood Roots – Where It All Began

Harinath:

When I say you shine differently, I don’t mean just the way you conduct yourself today. I feel a person is a collective compounding of generations. So the credit doesn’t belong only to you — it belongs to your parents, your family, and the environment you grew up in.


I would like to start from there. Where were you born? What was your family like? What shaped you during your childhood

Srividya:

Both my parents played very distinct roles in shaping us.

When I say “us,” I mean my younger brother and me. He is only about a year and a half younger than I am, so we grew up almost like twins rather than an older sister and younger brother.


Occasionally I would try to play the boss, but generally we grew up very much on equal footing.


We had similar interests, similar hobbies, and shared most experiences together.


Our parents complemented each other beautifully in the way they raised us.


My father is a man of very few words. My mother, on the other hand, was not. After marrying her, my father became an even better listener than he already was!


Books were a central part of our upbringing. My father loved reading, and that influenced both of us deeply.


These were times before computers, before the internet, before mobile phones — we didn’t even have a telephone at home initially.


When we first got a Solidaire TV, it was a big event in the neighborhood. People from nearby houses would come home and watch programs together.


We grew up in Coimbatore, which at that time was a small town compared to today. Ours was a very humble middle-class family, like many others.


But books were always around us.


My father had a collection, and we would simply pick up whatever was available.


I remember reading the unabridged Sherlock Holmes books when I was in fifth grade. At that time we didn’t even realize that these were considered advanced books for children.


We would go to the local library regularly and eventually read almost everything available there.


At one point, there were simply not enough books left for us to borrow, so my parents enrolled us in the city’s central library, which was a 30-minute bus ride away.


During summer vacations we would spend hours reading.


Sometimes we borrowed more books than the rules allowed, but the library staff happily indulged us because they knew we were genuinely interested in reading.


Looking back, books played a huge role in shaping our thinking and our values as a family.

2. Early Leadership and Learning to Speak

Harinath:

That exposure to books clearly shaped you early. But leadership also seems to have appeared quite early in your life.

Srividya:

Indeed. But we didn’t think of it as leadership at that time.


In school, both my brother and I used to do well academically. During those days, students who performed well in studies were often automatically seen as leaders.


When I was in tenth grade, I was elected the school pupil leader. After that I moved to Chennai and joined a new school for my junior college. Even there, I was elected the school pupil leader in twelfth grade.


It surprised many people because I had joined the school only recently, while others had been there for years.

Some students even assumed that I must have played up to the teachers and head of school. But honestly, I hadn’t.


Another important influence during those years was a high-ranking retired naval officer who used to visit our school regularly.


He was the brother of our school correspondent. Unfortunately, he had lost his only daughter in a tragic accident at the beach in Goa.


After that loss, he started spending a lot of time interacting with students at the school.


Every week, he would come to the school and conduct debate sessions, like an after-school club. These were not prepared debates where topics were announced in advance. Instead, the topics were given on the spot.


Students had to speak either for or against the motion. Almost always, my brother and I would pick opposite sides.


Now I can admit something honestly — my brother was usually the better speaker! Even when he took the weaker side of an argument, he had the ability to make it sound convincing.


That forced me to fight harder to present my side.


These sessions went on for several years, from around sixth grade to tenth grade.


Even during the stressful exam years of ninth and tenth grade, we continued attending them because we enjoyed them so much.


Those debates were my real introduction to speaking over a microphone and conducting myself on stage.


We learned how to think quickly, structure arguments, and communicate clearly and confidently. All in a matter of a few minutes!


Those skills have stayed with me throughout my life — in college, at work, in meetings with clients, and even in community activities.


One important thing I learned early is that when you speak, you cannot bombard people with too much information.


If people remember even three meaningful points from what you say, that is enough.


That idea has stayed with me all these years.

3. Discipline at Home – Small Rituals that Shape Character

Harinath:

While reading one of your articles, something caught my attention. You mentioned how your father used to make you clean his scooter every weekend. That small detail stayed with me.


Before we move further into your career, I want to understand that world a little better. What kind of household routines did you grow up with?

Srividya:

My father worked for a textile engineering company.

Those days Coimbatore was deeply connected to the textile industry, and he spent his entire career — more than 35 years — with the same company.


My brother became a software engineer and is working with large technology companies in the Silicon Valley. My husband is also a chartered accountant, although he works in services other than audit.


Coming back to the scooter story — my father had a Lambretta scooter, which I remember as being a dull red color.


Maybe it had just faded over time, but that is how I remember it. Cleaning the scooter was part of our routine. But it wasn’t only the scooter. We also had to help with several household chores.


Every week, we would clean the window grills, wipe the shelves and iron our own school uniforms.

These were normal responsibilities in most middle-class homes then. We didn’t have any domestic help.


Even when the house needed painting, the painters would usually handle the walls, but the grills were painted by us. My mother, my brother, and I would paint them ourselves.


At that time, it was partly about saving labour costs. But it also gave us a sense of satisfaction once the work was finished.


My mother was quite disciplined in certain routines. For example, in many South Indian homes, sleeping beyond six in the morning was almost considered taboo!


So she would make sure we woke up early.


She taught me to draw kolams outside the house every morning. Kolam is a traditional rangoli made using white powder.


My mother would wash the front yard, but the kolam became my responsibility. I started doing it when I was about six or seven years old.


At that age I probably didn’t even hold the powder container properly. But she encouraged me anyway.


Over time, something interesting happened. Initially I was just doing it because it was my task. But slowly I began to care about how neat it looked. I became almost obsessed with making it symmetrical and tidy.


Even today I still do it regularly, especially during festivals like Pongal, Diwali or Onam. I experiment with different materials — powders, flowers, rice paste, sometimes mixed media.


It has become almost meditative for me.


Earlier I used to be very possessive about my rangoli. I didn’t want anyone to touch it or disturb it. But over the years that has changed.


Many neighbours and friends have learned these techniques and together it becomes a collective activity, especially during festivals.


Looking back, doing these household chores and rituals during our childhood shaped a lot of discipline and patience in us.

4. The Career Detour – From Medicine to Chartered Accountancy

Harinath:

Your professional journey is fascinating because it seems very different from what one might expect. You worked with global firms and eventually became a partner in assurance.


But was this always the dream? Growing up, did you always want to become a chartered accountant?

Srividya:

Not at all. In fact, I had always wanted to become a doctor.


Medicine was my dream profession during my school years.


I enjoyed subjects like botany and zoology, especially the practical record work. I would spend extra time drawing diagrams and preparing those records.


But during my tenth grade, something unfortunate happened. Our chemistry teacher fell seriously ill and was unable to teach the class effectively.


At that time we didn’t fully understand the situation she was going through. As students, we only felt that we were not being prepared well for our exams.


As a result, I gradually lost confidence in chemistry. When you don’t understand a subject, it becomes difficult to continue with it.


Years later, we came to know that she had been going through terminal illness and eventually passed away. Looking back now as an adult, I feel aghast that as young teenagers we were not empathetic.


It taught me an important lesson: we are often very quick to judge people without knowing what they might be going through.


Whenever I find myself about to judge someone today, I pause and ask myself — what if they are dealing with something I don’t know about?


That experience stayed with me.


Around that time, our family moved from Coimbatore to Chennai. When we went to my new school to enroll for eleventh grade, I quietly chose the commerce group instead of science.


Interestingly, my mother didn’t realize that I had left medicine behind. She wasn’t very happy about it when she discovered it later!


That decision eventually led me to chartered accountancy, somewhat by accident. During college, many of my classmates were registering for CA alongside their B.Com degree.


Not wanting to be left out, I simply joined them. These days it is called FOMO!


Once I started studying the course, I started enjoyed the subjects. The course was demanding and required a lot of hard work.


But I put in my best and completed my B.Com and CA almost simultaneously by the time I was twenty-two years old.


Since then, I have been in an audit-accounting advisory role throughout my career.

5. Building a Global Career

Harinath:

You eventually worked with some of the largest professional firms and even across countries. That must have been quite a journey.

Srividya:

Some moves were professional decisions, while others were because of family — marriage, relocation, or being together as a family.


In each place, I found supportive work environments.


One advantage of working in accounting and auditing is that the fundamentals of the profession have not changed drastically.


This allowed me to take breaks when necessary — for example when my children were younger or when the family needed attention — and then return to work without too much disruption.


I consider that a blessing.


It gave me the flexibility to spend time with my children during important phases of their lives and also be present for my parents and in-laws when needed.

6. Women in Leadership – Navigating Male-Dominated Spaces

Harinath:

You eventually rose to the level of partner and worked across multiple organizations and countries. I’m curious about something that many people discuss today — how different is the journey for a woman compared to a man in the corporate world?


Does a woman need to prove herself more?

Does she need to speak louder or fight harder to be taken seriously?

Srividya:

I think discussions about men and women in the workplace are especially intense in India. In many other countries, the question of gender is much less central.


For example, when I worked in Singapore many years ago during 1999-2000, the accounting profession was already dominated by women.

Almost 60–70 percent of the professionals were women. Nobody saw it as unusual.


In the Middle East, my experience was very professional, especially when working with multinational clients. However, sometimes cultural and language differences mattered more than gender.


For instance, if I visited a local client where Arabic was the dominant language, a junior colleague who spoke Arabic might be able to build rapport more easily with the client than I could, even if I was the manager leading the assignment.


So in those situations, language and cultural familiarity played a bigger role.


London was probably the most comfortable professional environment I experienced.

It is an extremely diverse city — people from hundreds of nationalities live and work there. Nobody feels like an outsider.

7. Work, Motherhood and the London Years

Harinath:

You mentioned London being a very positive environment. But you were also raising children during that phase. That must have been an intense period.

Srividya:

That was probably the busiest phase of our lives.


Both our children were very young at that time. We didn’t have the kind of domestic help that people usually have in India. Life in London required everything to be managed by my husband and I.


A typical day would begin around six in the morning and continue until ten or eleven at night.


Mornings were about getting the children ready, dropping them at school or daycare, and then heading to work.


After work I would pick them up, bring them home, help them settle down, give them dinner, and put them to bed.

But the day didn’t end there.


I would open my laptop and continue working again from around 7:30 or 8 in the evening until about 10:30.


Despite all this, I remember being very happy during that phase.

The reason was flexibility.


The work culture allowed professionals — especially working mothers — to manage their schedules sensibly. As long as the work was delivered, people respected your time.


I feel India still has some distance to travel in that regard.


Here, people often feel they must spend long hours in the office to justify their output. That mindset needs to change if we want more women to remain in the workforce.


Many women begin their careers with great ambition. But somewhere along the journey — often around the time children arrive — the system becomes too difficult to navigate.


Without a strong support system, many women gradually step away from their careers.


So whenever I see women who have stayed in the workforce for ten, fifteen years or more, I genuinely admire their perseverance and go out of my way to support their journey.

8. Authority, Confidence and Being Heard

Harinath:

You spoke about confidence and presence. In India especially, many women feel they must constantly assert themselves to be heard.


Did you experience moments where you had to deliberately establish authority?

Srividya:

Unfortunately, yes. There were moments like that.


One instance I recall is when a junior male colleague and I went to meet a large corporate client.

Even though I was the one leading the engagement and making the decisions, the client would instinctively direct their questions to my colleague.


So the conversation became triangular — the client speaking to the junior colleague, and he in turn looking at me for the response.


After a point, I had to gently interrupt, “Let’s continue this conversation when you are ready to speak directly with me.”


Most of the time, I managed to say these things without creating conflict. But sometimes people were surprised because nobody had pointed it out to them before.


Another thing I noticed is that in India, appearance and presentation often influence how you are perceived.


For example, I deliberately wear a saree to important meetings. It projects authority and seriousness in a way that people immediately recognize.


In contrast, in many Western countries nobody cares what you wear. The conversation revolves entirely around the work.


Ultimately, though, the most important factor is expertise. When you know your subject deeply, people eventually recognize it.

9. Learning from Great Leaders

Harinath:

Earlier you mentioned role models like Indra Nooyi and Michelle Obama. What about leaders you worked with directly? Did they influence your leadership style?

Srividya:

Very much so.


One of my bosses taught me something very simple but powerful — respect other people’s time.


If a meeting is scheduled at a certain time, show up on time. Don’t keep people waiting. When you sit in a meeting, give the person across the table your full attention. Don’t keep checking your phone. Finish the meeting on time.


These are basic things, but they say a lot about your respect for others.


Another practice I learned from some of my British colleagues was transparency.


Your calendar was open for everyone to see. If you had two hours free in the afternoon, you would proactively offer help to your team.


You might say, “I’m available for the next couple of hours. Is there anything that needs review? Is anyone stuck on something?”


It created a culture of collaboration.


Similarly, if you needed to step away for a personal reason — perhaps a child’s school meeting — you simply said so.


You didn’t pretend to be sick or hide the reason.


That honesty encouraged others to do the same. It created a healthy environment where people trusted each other.

10. Leadership Through Support

Harinath:

Many people assume that women bosses are either too strict or overly harsh because they want to prove themselves. But your approach sounds quite different.

Srividya:

I don’t believe leadership has to come through fear.


During my time in the UK, I worked in a team where I reported to five partners simultaneously. Two of them were women.


Both of them were petite and soft-spoken. But when they entered a meeting room, everyone knew they were in charge.


Their authority came entirely from their expertise.


They didn’t need to raise their voices. They simply understood the subject deeply and were able to guide discussions with clarity.


Working with them influenced me a lot.

When you see leaders behave with respect, patience, and clarity, you naturally begin to emulate those qualities.


So when I later led my own teams, I naturally followed the same principles.


If you treat your team members with respect, support them when they need help, and allow them to grow, they develop loyalty — not just to you but to the organization as well.


Bad leadership, on the other hand, creates fear but not respect.

And fear rarely produces good work.

11. The Library Story – How Ideas Become Reality

Harinath:

Let me move to something very close to our community — the library in our society.


To be honest, before this conversation I did not really know much about you personally. My understanding of you came mostly through your articles and through the support you gave us while we were trying to start the library.


When Shalini and I first started thinking about the library, we had the idea but we didn’t know how to make it happen. We knew a space might be available in the new clubhouse, but we had no idea how to navigate the process.


Someone suggested that we speak to you. Initially Shalini was the one who approached you.


Today I want to say this on record — getting that library space would have been an uphill task without your support. On behalf of our team and all the children in the society, I want to thank you.


But you never talk about it publicly. So I want to understand: what really happened behind the scenes? What motivated you to help us?

Srividya:

Honestly, the builder had anyway planned for the library space so physical space was not the difficult part.


The real question was: who would bring that space to life?


When you and Shalini came forward with the idea, it was quite straightforward for me. It was a good initiative and something the community needed.


But like most things in community governance, ideas don’t automatically become decisions.


You need to make sure that the people who will eventually approve the proposal are comfortable with it.


That means having conversations with them before the formal meeting.


In professional life, especially in auditing, we often follow the same approach. Before a major meeting happens, we have multiple smaller conversations to understand concerns, clarify doubts, and bring everyone onto the same page.


So when the actual meeting happens, the decision is merely a formality.


If a topic is introduced for the first time in a meeting without prior discussion, people naturally raise objections or ask difficult questions.


Once doubts begin to circulate, others in the room also become hesitant. Then the discussion gets postponed, and the whole process slows down.


That is why I believe in having those preliminary conversations.


Some people call it lobbying. I simply see it as preparing the ground so that when the proposal finally comes to the table, it already has broad support.

12. The Reality of Community Governance

Harinath:

That’s very insightful. Many residents don’t really understand how these committees function. They only see the final decision.


Could you explain how the committee works and what challenges you face?

Srividya:

Committees are essentially groups of volunteers.


People from different buildings or societies come together and contribute their time.

There is no specific formula for how they are formed. Over time members join, leave, or change roles. The composition evolves.


Like most voluntary organisations, you will find that only a small percentage of members are actively involved in solving problems, while the rest observe or participate occasionally.


And that is not necessarily a criticism — it is simply how volunteer groups tend to function.


Different people join committees with different motivations.


Some join because they are passionate about a specific activity — maybe a particular sport or facility. They want to make sure issues related to that area are addressed.


Others may simply want to stay informed about what is happening.


And a few people genuinely enjoy working behind the scenes to make things function smoothly.


All these types exist in every committee.

13. Community Living – Shared Spaces and Shared Responsibility

Harinath:

That makes sense. Residents often come with long wish lists without realizing the limitations committees face.


From your perspective, what is the biggest challenge in community living?

Srividya:

Community living itself is a complex idea, pun intended!


In a place like EI, we have people from many different life stages — elderly residents whose children have moved away, middle-aged families whose children are studying, young couples, and even single professionals.


It is difficult to create activities that appeal equally to everyone.


On top of that, space in cities like Mumbai is limited. That is simply a reality we must accept.


So the real challenge is learning to share.


When a common facility is available, it cannot belong to one group all the time. Different people must get an opportunity to use it at different times.


When someone else is using the facility, others need to be patient.

And when it is your turn to use it, you must use it responsibly.


If people approach shared spaces with that mindset — tolerance and responsibility — community living becomes much easier.

14. Evaluating the Library Initiative

Harinath:

Let me ask something hypothetical.


You placed a lot of trust in us by supporting the library initiative. Suppose we had done a terrible job — suppose nothing had happened after getting the space. What would you have done then?

Srividya:

(Laughs)


I would definitely have come after you!


If someone takes responsibility for an initiative and then doesn’t follow through, that cannot simply be ignored.


But my approach would not have been to abandon the idea.


If necessary, I would have sat down with you and worked through the tasks together — even if it meant labeling books, organizing shelves, or whatever else that had to be done.


Sometimes the best way to solve a problem is simply to sit down and complete the work together.


Fortunately, that was not necessary in this case.


You and your team ran the library almost entirely on your own. From my perspective it is one of the few initiatives that operates almost on autopilot now.


You have created activities that keep people engaged and encourage children to keep returning.


That is a big achievement.

15. Teaching Values Through Community Life

Harinath:

That’s very encouraging to hear.

Srividya:

For me, the most important outcome is the values children observe in these spaces.


Many children today grow up in environments where they feel entitled — sometimes without realizing it.


They watch how adults treat others, including domestic workers or community staff.


If adults are disrespectful, children absorb that behavior very quickly.

But when children engage in community spaces like the library, they also see cooperation, sharing, and mutual respect.


Those experiences quietly shape their value systems.

And that, in my view, is just as important as the books themselves.

16. Parenting in a Changing World

Harinath:

You’ve written thoughtful articles on parenting, and one line in particular stayed with me — the idea that a grandchild is, in a way, already present in the grandmother’s womb. That was such a powerful way to describe the connection between generations.


I want to ask you something related to parenting today.


Many parents — especially in our part of the world — try to give children the best of everything. We make decisions for them, we guide them constantly, and we try to protect them from mistakes.


In many Western countries, however, children seem to be encouraged to make decisions earlier and learn from failure.


Do you think our style of parenting sometimes prevents children from developing decision-making skills?

Srividya:

We need to be careful about making broad generalizations.


It is easy to say that Indians are good followers while people in other countries are better decision-makers. But reality is far more complex than that.


Look at the number of successful entrepreneurs and companies that have emerged from India in the last twenty years. There are many Indian founders building global companies and taking significant risks.


So clearly Indians are capable of making decisions and taking risks.


Sometimes our perception is shaped by selection bias. We see a few famous figures like Mark Zuckerberg or Bill Gates and assume that everyone in those societies are equally capable.


But every country has a wide spectrum of personalities and abilities.

That said, there are certain differences in upbringing.


In some countries children are encouraged to interact with adults more confidently from a very young age. They are expected to express opinions, ask questions, and participate in discussions.


For example, in Switzerland many schools are located within walking distance of residential neighborhoods. Children above the age of five are expected to walk to school on their own.


This means they learn road safety, independence, and responsibility very early.


By the time they are eight or nine years old, they are already navigating public spaces confidently.


Such experiences naturally build confidence.


In India, on the other hand, children often grow up in more protective environments. Parents try to manage every detail of their lives — sometimes out of love, but sometimes it is just needed due to concerns for safety.


So children may take a little longer to develop that independence.

But I don’t think it means they cannot develop those skills later.

Confidence can be built through education, exposure, and practice.

17. Confidence and Communication

Harinath:

That’s an interesting point. So the issue may not be decision-making ability itself, but confidence in expressing ideas.

Srividya:

Exactly.


In many international environments, Indians are technically very strong. They understand their subject extremely well.


But sometimes they hesitate to speak up in discussions.


Part of that hesitation comes from confidence. Another part may come from language.


If English is not your native language, you may feel slightly less comfortable expressing complex ideas compared to someone who grew up speaking it.


I remember working with young graduates in the UK who had just completed their undergraduate degrees.

They might not have had deep technical knowledge yet, but they could confidently engage in conversations with clients.


They asked questions, expressed opinions, and kept discussions moving.

That ability to communicate confidently makes a big difference.


I also feel it is the Asian community that tends to overplay the importance of accent, often trying to fit in.

I remember someone saying “if someone speaks English with a non-native accent, value them because they know atleast one other language”.


Education plays a major role and skills can be developed over time. The experiences children have in school — debates, presentations, discussions — shape how comfortable they feel expressing themselves later in life.


Many of the skills I still use today were learned during my school years.


So if children receive a strong educational foundation that encourages curiosity and expression, they will grow into confident individuals.

18. The Personal Side – Faith and Balance

Harinath:

Let me ask you something more personal.


What is something about you that most people don’t expect when they meet you for the first time?

Srividya:

That depends on where they meet me.


If someone meets me in a professional environment, they may not expect that I am a deeply religious person.


Faith is an important part of my life. My family believes strongly in prayer, chanting, and performing traditional rituals.


But that doesn’t mean life has to be overly serious or restrictive.


I do enjoy spending time with friends, going out, attending music concerts, and celebrating festivals.


I believe it is possible for everyone to strike a balance on their own terms — enjoy modern life while also respecting tradition.

19. Books, Music and Curiosity

Harinath:

You also seem to have a deep interest in music and culture. I often see you sharing Carnatic music performances.


What do you enjoy reading or watching these days?

Srividya:

Music has always been one of my favorite ways to relax.


I enjoy many types of music, though I’m not particularly fond of rock or pop — except when my children force me to listen!


Whenever I have time, I enjoy attending classical music concerts or listening to recordings.


As for reading, I must admit that in the last few years streaming platforms have taken up more of my time than books.


But whenever I find a good author or a good book, I tend to read continuously — while traveling, cooking, or even folding clothes — till I finish the book.

I especially enjoy non-fiction.


Documentaries, real-life stories, and courtroom dramas are things I find interesting.


Recently we watched The Lincoln Lawyer and The Pitt, which I enjoyed quite a lot.

20. Looking Ahead – The Next Generation

Harinath:

Before we close, tell us a little about your children.

Srividya:

Both of them are young adults now.


My daughter is finishing her undergraduate studies, and my son has just started his engineering program.


They are exploring the world in their own way.


Like many parents, we learn new things from them as well. Younger generations observe details that we sometimes overlook and they also tend to be super empathetic.


Sometimes they give me such direct feedback, and that makes me feel even more proud as their parent.

21. A Message for the Community

Harinath:

Since this conversation will be shared within the society, is there any message you would like to leave for residents?

Srividya:

I wouldn’t call it a message — perhaps just a request.

Community living requires patience.


All of us call EI our home, we share the same environment and the same facilities. So it helps if people remain tolerant, cooperative, and mindful of how we use common spaces.


If we treat each other with respect and consideration, the community becomes a happy place for everyone.

Closing Note


Harinath:

Before we end, I want to say something on record.


Many people see the activities happening in the society — the library, the events, the initiatives — and sometimes assume that a few individuals are responsible for everything.


But the truth is that many of these efforts happen because of quiet support behind the scenes.


Srividya has been one of those pillars.


Whenever I discuss a new idea or initiative, she offers thoughtful guidance and encouragement. Much of what we have been able to do has been possible because of that support.


Thank you, Srividya, for sharing your journey so openly today. Your experiences and insights will certainly inspire many people in our community.


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