Love Begins Within

Neha Suradkar

Co- Founder of YOGEE Beauty & Wellness Pvt Ltd

Assistant Professor (Fashion History, Styling)

LinkedIn

Fashion and Design Educator, Entrepreneur, Style Coach™ and Advocate of Timeless Thinking

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One evening, I was sitting on a bench in the garden. It was that time in the evening when the compound is alive with children racing their bicycles around the pathway, some residents taking a stroll alone, while others walk with their buddies.

On the opposite bench, a group of four young mothers sat chatting while keeping an eye on their children playing nearby. After a few minutes, I heard one of them say, almost wearily,

“I really need a break… but there’s just so much to do.”

The others nodded in agreement. Soon the conversation moved to everything that is part of their day-to-day routine- school, work, errands, cooking, helping with homework, managing the home, and so on and so forth.

One of them laughed and said,

“Sometimes I feel like I’m doing things for everyone all the time… and there’s not even a thank you.”

Another added,

“And if I sit down for five minutes, I feel guilty. Like I should be doing something useful.”

They all laughed again. The kind of laughter that carries both humour and exhaustion.

It sounded like a usual conversation. The one, many of us have heard, or perhaps even been part of. Yet something about it stayed with me.

A few minutes later, one of them said something that caught my attention,

“If I take time for myself, I feel selfish.”

That word lingered in my mind- Selfish.

It is interesting how easily we attach that word to the idea of caring for ourselves.

Somewhere along the way, many of us seem to have learned that taking care of ourselves should come last.

Work, family, responsibilities, expectations, everything else comes first. And when we do think about ourselves, a small voice inside often asks,

“Isn’t that selfish?”

But self-love and selfishness are not the same thing. Selfishness is about ignoring the needs of others.

Self-love is about respecting your own well-being so that you can show up better for others.

In fact, when we constantly run on empty, it becomes harder to be patient parents, supportive partners, thoughtful colleagues, or even kind neighbours. We become irritable, tired, and overwhelmed.

Perhaps self-love is not indulgence, it is maintenance!

Self-love rarely appears in dramatic ways. It is usually evident in small, everyday choices.

It could be taking an evening walk instead of scrolling endlessly on the phone. Or, saying “no” to something that drains your energy.

It could also be putting your phone aside and allowing yourself a few minutes of stillness. Sometimes self-love is about creating small rituals that soften the day.

It could be watering plants, listening to music, reading a few pages of a book, or even enjoying a cup of tea without rushing.

These small acts may look insignificant, but they gently remind us that our own well-being matters too.

Another important part of self-love is learning to set boundaries. Many of us struggle with this. We agree to things even when we are exhausted.

We say yes when we really mean no. But we have to understand that boundaries are not walls.

They are just ways to protect our time and energy so we don’t lose ourselves while trying to take care of everything else.

Today, when social media constantly shows us carefully curated glimpses of other people’s lives, their achievements, celebrations, travels, and milestones, practising self-love has become even more challenging.

It is easy to fall into the comparison trap. But real life is far more layered than what appears on a screen. Everyone carries unseen struggles and moments of uncertainty.

Learning to appreciate our own pace, rather than measuring it against someone else’s highlight reel, is one of the most powerful forms of self-respect.

Self-love is not the same for everyone. It evolves as we do. From learning not to constantly seek validation to allowing yourself moments of pause without guilt.

From remembering that rest is not laziness to rediscovering hobbies. Everything that you do for yourself is self-love!

By then, the mothers on the opposite bench had gathered their children and were getting ready to head home.

The bicycles were slowing down, the evening light had softened, and the garden was beginning to grow quieter.

As I got up from my bench, I wondered how many of us sitting in that garden quietly believe that caring for ourselves is selfish.

Perhaps it isn’t. Perhaps it is simply the beginning of a healthier relationship. The one we have with ourselves.

Because sometimes the beginning of self-love is not a dramatic transformation. It is just a small shift in perspective.

It might start with a simple question:

“If I were my best friend, how would I treat myself today?”

The answer might be surprisingly simple. And perhaps that is exactly where it begins.

Learning, slowly and gently, to be on our own side.

Because love, in many ways, begins within.